Spain - the 51st state?

posted by Aaron:

So today I had a customer from Spain contact me and ask where a his package was that he should have received by now. "A quick call to the USPS should get the ball rolling" I thought.

I called the USPS 800 number managed to navigate their efficient automated system and was speaking to a person in a mere TEN minutes:

Auto-Attendant: "Please say yes or no." (to a question that is not yes or no)
Me: "Customer service"
Auto-Attendant: "I'm sorry, I can't tell what you're saying"
Me: "Representative"
Auto-Attendant: "I'm sorry, I can't tell what you're saying"
Me: "CUST-O-MER SER-VIIIICE"

I don't remember how I got through that, but finally did and was speaking to a person.

USPS Agent: "Hello sir, may I have your tracking number please."
Me: "123456789"
USPS Agent: "Ok sir, I'm showing that your package left Duluth on January 19th for SPAIN and no further information is available at this time."
Me: "Yes, I'm aware of that - I looked that up on your website. I'd like to start a claim on this since it was shipped Express and should have been delivered by now."
USPS Agent: "Ok. Is this an INTERNATIONAL shipment?"

I should have just hung up there.

Me: "Yes."
USPS Agent: "Ok."
awkward and lengthy silence....
USPS Agent: "Sir, I'm sorry, but I can't process this claim right now. Our systems are down. You'll have to call back later to process this."
Me: "I have an idea. How about I give you my phone number and YOU call ME back when your system is back up?"
USPS Agent: "I'm sorry, but we don't make any call backs."

President Obama, since we're giving away money I make a recommendation to throw a few million at the USPS for geography lessons and a new "system."